My eyes couldn’t help but glaze over mentions of granola bowls, eggs benedict and smashed avo replicated across the menus of Melbourne’s cafés in my brunch research for this weekend, until I stumbled across Project281 Cafe.
Don’t let inaction stop you from going to Kines as it did me – it’ll be one of the best brunches you have in Melbourne. If you’re addled with intolerances, know they’ll do everything in their control to ensure you escape with zero bloats.
I first learned about Handsome Her when it made headlines for charging men an 18% surcharge to account for the gender pay gap, proceeds of which go to women’s services – a noble endeavour that I am 100% in favour of.
I remember trying to pay for four drinks at a regional English pub once with a 50 pound note because I’m so conditioned to the ludicrous price of drinks in Melbourne, only for the barman to laughingly inform me that I was out of pocket by a mere £15.95. Brunswick institution Green Refectory is exactly like this.
It would have been easy to follow my intolerances at Teta Mona, a cosy and contained Lebanese eatery on what wankers like me term the ‘good end’ of Lygon Street, but Teta Mona has a sharing menu and that put a spanner in the works.
It’s certifiably unwise to follow up a bloat-filled dinner at Ricky & Pinky with breakfast pasta the morning after, particularly one that doesn’t come in a gluten-free version, but not for the first time, I couldn’t resist.