I’d eaten at Brunswick café Lucy Lockett before, but not since they’d changed hands and released a largely vegan menu.
My eyes couldn’t help but glaze over mentions of granola bowls, eggs benedict and smashed avo replicated across the menus of Melbourne’s cafés in my brunch research for this weekend, until I stumbled across Project281 Cafe.
Don’t let inaction stop you from going to Kines as it did me – it’ll be one of the best brunches you have in Melbourne. If you’re addled with intolerances, know they’ll do everything in their control to ensure you escape with zero bloats.
I first learned about Handsome Her when it made headlines for charging men an 18% surcharge to account for the gender pay gap, proceeds of which go to women’s services – a noble endeavour that I am 100% in favour of.
I remember trying to pay for four drinks at a regional English pub once with a 50 pound note because I’m so conditioned to the ludicrous price of drinks in Melbourne, only for the barman to laughingly inform me that I was out of pocket by a mere £15.95. Brunswick institution Green Refectory is exactly like this.
It would have been easy to follow my intolerances at Teta Mona, a cosy and contained Lebanese eatery on what wankers like me term the ‘good end’ of Lygon Street, but Teta Mona has a sharing menu and that put a spanner in the works.
It’s certifiably unwise to follow up a bloat-filled dinner at Ricky & Pinky with breakfast pasta the morning after, particularly one that doesn’t come in a gluten-free version, but not for the first time, I couldn’t resist.