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Whatever Floats Your Bloat

The most tolerant intolerant eater

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Tag: Collingwood

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Lupo, Collingwood

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on December 29, 2019May 17, 2021

As is family tradition, we ventured to Lupo to celebrate Whatever Floats Your Bloat Bro’s birthday because nothing symbolises a special occasion in my family more than a big bowl of pasta (or a risotto if you’re the rice-loving Papa Whatever Floats Your Bloat).

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  • Restaurants

Bowl Bowl, Collingwood

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on March 25, 2019

Confession: I’d tried Bowl Bowl once before and didn’t rate it, but had heard from two different friendship groups since that I had simply mis-ordered, which convinced me to give it another shot. Sadly, my opinion has not changed.

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  • Cafes

Terror Twilight, Collingwood

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on January 21, 2018January 21, 2018

It was with a great sense of dismay that I learnt Bedford Street, which used to serve fried chicken waffles for breakfast, was being revitalised as Terror Twilight – a café specialising in deconstructed bowls and broths.

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  • Restaurants

Ides, Collingwood

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on November 19, 2017

A few happy hour wines deep one Friday night, Beer Jenga Master, Gingko Leaf Girl and I hatched the idea to form a Fine Dining Club.

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  • Restaurants

Red Sparrow Pizza, Collingwood

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on July 16, 2017July 16, 2017

All 3 devoted readers of this blog will know that I’m firmly #TeamPasta, but vegan pizzeria Red Sparrow Pizza all but negates my need for Lacteeze pills and so I had to try it.

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  • Restaurants

The Old Raffles Place, Collingwood

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on November 27, 2016December 4, 2016

I’ve never really understood what ‘Singaporean’ food means. It’s akin to Tasmania seceding from the mainland and selling Australian food under the moniker ‘Tasmanian food’.

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  • Cafes

Smith Street Alimentari

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on October 30, 2016November 6, 2016

Despite belonging to a cohort of money-wasting millennials who eat out, on average, nine times a week, there are embarrassing gaps in the places I’ve dined out at.

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  • Restaurants

Punjabi Curry Cafe, Collingwood

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on July 31, 2016August 18, 2016

As tempted as I always am by the wafts of curry that emanate from bain-maries in food courts, I know the bloat after will be far from worth it.

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  • Restaurants

Easey’s, Collingwood

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on July 17, 2016August 18, 2016

I’ve been avoiding Easey’s like a fructose-intolerant person avoids garlic bread. Nothing good can come out of a burger place that serves mac and cheese, dim sims and potato cakes when you react adversely to the slightest whiff of onion and have my willpower i.e. none whatsoever.

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About

 

When you’re FODMAP and lactose-intolerant as well as lacking a somewhat vital organ such as a gallbladder, everything floats your bloat – tomatoes, eggplant, mature cheeses (so most good cheeses), wine, spinach, almond milk, every form of preserved meat (yes, that includes bacon), that little bit of ghee your mum slips into her dahl to make it taste all the better.

Bloat Scores

0 Living the dream

1 Had to loosen my belt a notch

2 The belt had to be completely removed

3 I could have balanced a glass of wine on my bloated stomach

4 If I were lying prostrate on my tummy, it would have looked as though I was levitating

5 So full of gas I floated home like a hot air balloon

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