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Whatever Floats Your Bloat

The most tolerant intolerant eater

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Category: Restaurants

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Pentolina, Melbourne

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on December 5, 2018December 5, 2018

Manned by Matt Piccone of Pellegrini’s fame, after his 19 years as a barista there, and his partner Julia Piccone, Pentolina has some serious Pugliese chops underpinning it.

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  • Restaurants

Postmistress, Brunswick West

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on November 21, 2018

Postmistress is great at catering to various dietary requirements – two of the pasta dishes were naturally gluten-free and pizzas came with the option of gluten-free bases.

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  • Restaurants

Little Odessa, Fitzroy [permanently closed]

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on November 4, 2018May 17, 2021

Nearly every cuisine has its own form of dumplings, and I love each and every one of them – from the Nepalese momo, the Chinese jiaozi and the Japanese gyoza to the French quenelles and the Polish pierogi.

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  • Restaurants

Sapa Hills, Footscray

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on October 31, 2018October 31, 2018

It’s news to no one who lives West of the city centre that Sapa Hills churns out incredible Vietnamese food, but if you, like me, aren’t as acquainted with Footscray’s finest food establishments, please head there immediately and order the ‘Sapa Hills special fried rice’.

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  • Restaurants

Vegie Mum, Fitzroy

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on October 14, 2018October 14, 2018

Long-time readers of Whatever Floats Your Bloat will know about my predilection for mock meat.

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  • Restaurants

Umberto Espresso Bar, Thornbury

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on September 16, 2018September 16, 2018

Umberto is the ideal place to celebrate a milestone if you’re not into stiff restaurants and contrived food – the dishes are honest and down-to-earth, the restaurant is charming and comfortable, and the waitstaff are pleasant to a fault.

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  • Restaurants

Cornershop, Yarraville

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on August 26, 2018August 26, 2018

We walked around the main high street of Yarraville, which had a busy and festive feel to it despite the cold, until we eventually settled on Cornershop – a cosy and inviting restaurant bathed in warm yellow light and clad in timber joinery, yet not so packed that we couldn’t get a seat.

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  • Restaurants

Red Hot Wok, South Yarra

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on August 19, 2018August 26, 2018

If I had to choose three cuisines to survive on for the rest of my life – I think about this important question a lot – Chinese Malaysian would be one of them, and so I was highly excited when Gingko Leaf Girl suggested we try Red Hot Wok, a Chinese Malaysian restaurant in South Yarra.

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  • Restaurants

Portello Rosso, Melbourne

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on August 12, 2018August 12, 2018

Portello Rosso is an ever-reliable source of tasty Spanish food and a more parent-friendly CBD dining option than the perennially cool Bar Lourinha and the slightly more upmarket MoVida outposts.

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  • Restaurants

Sookie La La, Northcote [permanently closed]

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on August 5, 2018May 17, 2021

Mr Whatever Floats Your Bloat is notoriously hard to lure out of the house when it’s not for a halal snack pack or Red Rooster chips, but I managed to entice him with the prospect of a milkshake at Sookie La La, an American style-diner in Northcote I’d been meaning to try for a while.

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About

 

When you’re FODMAP and lactose-intolerant as well as lacking a somewhat vital organ such as a gallbladder, everything floats your bloat – tomatoes, eggplant, mature cheeses (so most good cheeses), wine, spinach, almond milk, every form of preserved meat (yes, that includes bacon), that little bit of ghee your mum slips into her dahl to make it taste all the better.

Bloat Scores

0 Living the dream

1 Had to loosen my belt a notch

2 The belt had to be completely removed

3 I could have balanced a glass of wine on my bloated stomach

4 If I were lying prostrate on my tummy, it would have looked as though I was levitating

5 So full of gas I floated home like a hot air balloon

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