It would have been easy to follow my intolerances at Teta Mona, a cosy and contained Lebanese eatery on what wankers like me term the ‘good end’ of Lygon Street, but Teta Mona has a sharing menu and that put a spanner in the works.
Ricky & Pinky was on my radar, but it wasn’t until my in-laws gifted me with a voucher to dine there (shout out to the wonderful O’Deas!) did it supersede all the other places on my list.
Northern Git was suggested as the perfect place for a mid-week dinner, and after realising it was on my 180-page list of places I want to try in Melbourne, I started rapaciously scouring the menu – deciding at least two days in advance that we would definitely be having the spicy chicken wings with blue cheese.
Most people find the idea of fake (or mock) meat unfathomable or reprehensible or both, which is why I was slightly hesitant to tell people that I was celebrating my birthday by going to Vegie Hut, a vegetarian restaurant in Box Hill famous for its fake meat.
One of my favourite job interviews wasn’t one that resulted in me getting hired, but rather one where they took me out to Kaprica and paid for me to have a risotto.
Juicy Bao is one of my favourite dumpling places in Melbourne, and that’s a lofty statement when there’s competition in the form of Shandong Mama, Hutong, Shanghai Street, Din Tai Fung and New Shanghai.
As tempted as I always am by the wafts of curry that emanate from bain-maries in food courts, I know the bloat after will be far from worth it.
I’ve been avoiding Easey’s like a fructose-intolerant person avoids garlic bread. Nothing good can come out of a burger place that serves mac and cheese, dim sims and potato cakes when you react adversely to the slightest whiff of onion and have my willpower i.e. none whatsoever.
In the age of Zomato, Broadsheet and the like, it’s hard to genuinely stumble upon a place before you hear about it online, although that’s exactly how I chanced upon Kiki Riki Latin Street Food.
I know Shandong Mama isn’t exactly the newest kid on the block, but while people are still lining up to enter that abominable red door place on the corner of Little Bourke and Russell, I feel it is my duty as an eater to publicise the availability of the delicious and cheap dumplings at Shandong Mama.