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Whatever Floats Your Bloat

The most tolerant intolerant eater

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Category: Restaurants

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Euro Kitchen Vegan Café, Fitzroy [permanently closed]

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on April 29, 2020May 17, 2021

Euro Kitchen’s plant-based menu was perfect for the vegan Sand Pirate Penguin, the vegetarian Feminist Film Fatale and the omnivorous me who is forever trying to reduce my meat consumption.

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  • Restaurants

Chumanchu, Preston

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on April 8, 2020May 17, 2021

Chumanchu’s menu is largely Vietnamese with a few Thai, Malaysian and Indonesian flourishes. Interestingly, I found out its owner Marten Chu is the brother of Nahji Chu, founder of the popular Misschu chain.

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  • Restaurants

Pho Thin, Melbourne

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on March 9, 2020May 17, 2021

One of the main differences between the Australian Pho Thin and the one in Hanoi is the disavowal of MSG – a downright shame if you ask me.

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  • Restaurants

Daughter In Law, Melbourne

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on March 2, 2020May 17, 2021

I was interested to try Daughter In Law, the latest from chef Jessi Singh who brought us Horn Please, to see how it compared to my favourites.

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  • Restaurants

Primo, Northcote

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on February 23, 2020May 17, 2021

It’s common knowledge that I am Team Pasta as opposed to Team Pizza, but Italian restaurant Primo in Northcote had received such rave reviews that I was willing to loosen my stance for a night.

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  • Restaurants

Meet Sando, Melbourne

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on February 16, 2020May 17, 2021

Deep-fried crumbed meat sandwiched by two pieces of fluffy white bread – what’s there not to like about katsu sandos? Nothing, which is why I chose to celebrate my last day at a former job by dining at Meet Sando with colleagues.

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  • Restaurants

Anatolia Tantuni, Fitzroy

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on January 20, 2020May 17, 2021

Tulum in Balaclava has made a name for itself in the realm of Turkish fine dining, but Anatolia Tantuni is providing a platform for the enjoyment of Turkish street food – specifically, tantuni.

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  • Restaurants

Shop 225, Pascoe Vale South

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on January 5, 2020January 2, 2020

The name of Shop 225, sitting as it so happens on 225 Melville Road, is the only unimaginative thing about it.

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  • Restaurants

Lupo, Collingwood

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on December 29, 2019May 17, 2021

As is family tradition, we ventured to Lupo to celebrate Whatever Floats Your Bloat Bro’s birthday because nothing symbolises a special occasion in my family more than a big bowl of pasta (or a risotto if you’re the rice-loving Papa Whatever Floats Your Bloat).

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  • Restaurants

Lagoon Dining, Carlton

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on December 23, 2019May 17, 2021

70-year-old Carlton institution Lygon Food Store has given way to contemporary Chinese restaurant Lagoon Dining. Thankfully Lagoon Dining is making good on the legacy of the big shoes it’s stepped into by churning out some of the best dishes I’ve tasted in a while.

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About

 

When you’re FODMAP and lactose-intolerant as well as lacking a somewhat vital organ such as a gallbladder, everything floats your bloat – tomatoes, eggplant, mature cheeses (so most good cheeses), wine, spinach, almond milk, every form of preserved meat (yes, that includes bacon), that little bit of ghee your mum slips into her dahl to make it taste all the better.

Bloat Scores

0 Living the dream

1 Had to loosen my belt a notch

2 The belt had to be completely removed

3 I could have balanced a glass of wine on my bloated stomach

4 If I were lying prostrate on my tummy, it would have looked as though I was levitating

5 So full of gas I floated home like a hot air balloon

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