Whatever Floats Your Bloat

The most tolerant intolerant eater

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Tag: Thai

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Isan Soul, Melbourne

by Sonia Nair
Posted on May 26, 2019

It takes a particular kind of bravery to re-visit a restaurant after walking out on them but I was up to the challenge.

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When you’re histamine- and lactose-intolerant as well as lacking a somewhat vital organ such as a gallbladder, everything floats your bloat – tomatoes, eggplant, mature cheeses (so most good cheeses), wine, spinach, almond milk, every form of preserved meat (yes, that includes bacon), that little bit of ghee your mum slips into her dahl to make it taste all the better.

Bloat Scores

0 Living the dream

1 Had to loosen my belt a notch

2 The belt had to be completely removed

3 I could have balanced a glass of wine on my bloated stomach

4 If I were lying prostrate on my tummy, it would have looked as though I was levitating

5 So full of gas I floated home like a hot air balloon

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Predictably, I can’t eat the very dish that @laksabar is named after but I do enjoy their rice dishes – specifically this grilled hoi sin and sesame chicken with chicken stock-infused rice. I’ve had a bad tummy all week so this wasn’t perhaps the wisest choice despite being better than a laksa – someone with a histamine intolerance once told me she avoids any plate of food that has colour on it (what a sad statement to live by) and this had plenty of colour on it, which probably didn’t bode well for my tummy! I was at TWO BLOATS after and had a very uneasy stomach all afternoon but I’ve had an uneasy stomach all week and have since given up trying to figure out what trigged this week’s bout of sickness

I’m rolling out a new segment on Whatever Floats Your Bloat where I cook something following the recipe of a different friend or family member every week and share it on the blog. The purpose is twofold – to force myself to cook consistently and to shine a spotlight on the staple dishes that those close to me subsist on day in day out. First up is @likeo.h’s pork belly and kimchi fried rice which I greatly enjoyed, and which I’ll share on the blog in a few weeks’ time. I can’t typically tolerate kimchi but I figure I’d try it out in a small quantity so ~stay tuned~ for the bloat effect

Another day, another stellar recipe from @thewoksoflife. I’m obsessed with this blog because everything is suitably simple for a novice cook like me yet so tasty, and this teriyaki tofu recipe is the latest demonstration of that. I omitted the onions and accidentally forgot to add brown sugar to the sauce, but followed the recipe to the tee otherwise. Dredged in corn flour, the tofu became crunchy on the outside once pan-fried, retaining its softness inside, while the sauce blanketing the tofu was savoury and suitably thick, again on account of corn flour which is honestly the best ingredient! I felt exceedingly full after this because I didn’t check the serving size and proceeded to divide four portions between myself and my partner but other than that, I was okay so I’m awarding this a ZERO BLOATS

I used to say the char kuay teow at Sarawak Kitchen was the best CKT in Melbourne and their mock roast pork will also be the bee’s knees but the char kuay teow I had at @auntyfranklee knocked my socks off because everything about it was perfect – from the wok hei (wok breath) to the noodles glistening in pork lard. FOUR BLOATS from some of the best Malaysian I’ve had in Melbourne in a while – link to this week’s blog post in bio 👀

ZERO BLOATS but a mouth on fire after this pad thai from @soninlaw_thepad at the new Melbourne Central food hub @ellamelbourne. I got this without the shrimp paste to make it vegetarian – I read that interactive story on climate change and eating habits on the New York Times and am freshly terrified about what my meat consumption does to the planet – and requested this to be “hot”, which didn’t taste hot until I mixed in the red chilli flakes pictured on the left. This is $9.90 without any add-ons and gluten-free, so perfect for those coeliacs out there! I am extremely full – it was a huge portion

It can be so difficult figuring out something quick to make for dinner after work when you’re intolerant to ready-made sauces, marinades, toast, things that people put on toast like cheese and vegemite, and most instant meals but I’ve found the perfect solution in @thewoksoflife’s ‘weeknight slop’ i.e. cooked rice with fried egg, sliced avocado, shredded carrot, a generous dollop of chilli oil, soy and a sprinkling of white pepper. Look the chilli oil probably isn’t low in histamines but girl’s gotta eat something flavourful and this combination worked so well – it tasted like a cheat bibimbap. Woks of Life’s original version had pickled bamboo shoots but I can’t eat anything pickled so I replaced it with carrot. Oh and swipe right for the best chilli oil ever because this is the most important component of the meal. ZERO BLOATS from the best simple meal after toast

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