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Whatever Floats Your Bloat

The most tolerant intolerant eater

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Tag: Northcote

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Gray and Gray Bread and Wine, Northcote

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on December 19, 2022December 19, 2022

Gray and Gray is a restaurant established in 2021 by three-Michelin-star pastry chef Boris Portnoy and winemaker Mitch Sokolin in a space that was formerly a solicitor’s office.

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  • Restaurants

Oh Loretta!, Northcote

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on February 22, 2021May 17, 2021

Oh Loretta! was one of many restaurants to have opened up in the aftermath of the pandemic, not that you could tell from the diners squashed into its bustling, deejayed confines.

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  • Restaurants

Vex, Northcote

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on February 1, 2021May 17, 2021

With only one meat dish on the menu, Vex’s menu is perfect for pescatarians and vegetarians. Simple, clean flavours are elevated, showcasing the quality of the fresh produce and seafood on offer.

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  • Restaurants

Primo, Northcote

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on February 23, 2020May 17, 2021

It’s common knowledge that I am Team Pasta as opposed to Team Pizza, but Italian restaurant Primo in Northcote had received such rave reviews that I was willing to loosen my stance for a night.

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  • Cafes

Espresso Alley, Northcote [permanently closed]

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on September 2, 2018May 17, 2021

Espresso Alley is a cutesy local on a somewhat deserted strip in Northcote that I’m glad exists because it means grocery shopping can be fun every once in a while.

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  • Restaurants

Sookie La La, Northcote [permanently closed]

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on August 5, 2018May 17, 2021

Mr Whatever Floats Your Bloat is notoriously hard to lure out of the house when it’s not for a halal snack pack or Red Rooster chips, but I managed to entice him with the prospect of a milkshake at Sookie La La, an American style-diner in Northcote I’d been meaning to try for a while.

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  • Restaurants

Pharaoh, Northcote [permanently closed]

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on July 1, 2018May 17, 2021

Relatively new to the eclectic High Street is Egyptian restaurant Pharaoh, which sits where chocolate shop Coco Loco and Mexican restaurant Papasito used to be.

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  • Restaurants

Camus, Northcote [permanently closed]

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on November 27, 2017October 14, 2018

What I loved best about Camus was how nostalgic flavours of my childhood – from the chickpea pancake and the fried okra to the lime pickle – punctuated dishes in fresh and exciting ways that I hadn’t tasted before.

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About

 

When you’re FODMAP and lactose-intolerant as well as lacking a somewhat vital organ such as a gallbladder, everything floats your bloat – tomatoes, eggplant, mature cheeses (so most good cheeses), wine, spinach, almond milk, every form of preserved meat (yes, that includes bacon), that little bit of ghee your mum slips into her dahl to make it taste all the better.

Bloat Scores

0 Living the dream

1 Had to loosen my belt a notch

2 The belt had to be completely removed

3 I could have balanced a glass of wine on my bloated stomach

4 If I were lying prostrate on my tummy, it would have looked as though I was levitating

5 So full of gas I floated home like a hot air balloon

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