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Whatever Floats Your Bloat

The most tolerant intolerant eater

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Tag: Shanklin Cafe

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Shanklin Cafe, Hawthorn East

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on October 21, 2018

I don’t usually venture outside my locale on weekends, preferring instead to visit places that I can reach either by foot or tram, but Shanklin Cafe’s invitation to try their fare was too good to pass up.

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About

When you’re histamine- and lactose-intolerant as well as lacking a somewhat vital organ such as a gallbladder, everything floats your bloat – tomatoes, eggplant, mature cheeses (so most good cheeses), wine, spinach, almond milk, every form of preserved meat (yes, that includes bacon), that little bit of ghee your mum slips into her dahl to make it taste all the better.

Bloat Scores

0 Living the dream

1 Had to loosen my belt a notch

2 The belt had to be completely removed

3 I could have balanced a glass of wine on my bloated stomach

4 If I were lying prostrate on my tummy, it would have looked as though I was levitating

5 So full of gas I floated home like a hot air balloon

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