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Whatever Floats Your Bloat

The most tolerant intolerant eater

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Garden State Hotel, Melbourne

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on August 20, 2017August 20, 2017

I’m not averse to lunch being my first meal of the day, especially on a Saturday, which is how I found myself at Garden State Hotel ordering a steak at the early hour of 11.45 in the morning.

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  • Restaurants

The Standard Hotel, Fitzroy

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on May 28, 2017June 24, 2017

The Standard Hotel’s prices are not prohibitively high, as is the case with certain gastropubs, and its menu is inventive and varied enough that there’s something for everyone (unless you have intolerances and hate steak).

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About

 

When you’re FODMAP and lactose-intolerant as well as lacking a somewhat vital organ such as a gallbladder, everything floats your bloat – tomatoes, eggplant, mature cheeses (so most good cheeses), wine, spinach, almond milk, every form of preserved meat (yes, that includes bacon), that little bit of ghee your mum slips into her dahl to make it taste all the better.

Bloat Scores

0 Living the dream

1 Had to loosen my belt a notch

2 The belt had to be completely removed

3 I could have balanced a glass of wine on my bloated stomach

4 If I were lying prostrate on my tummy, it would have looked as though I was levitating

5 So full of gas I floated home like a hot air balloon

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