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Whatever Floats Your Bloat

The most tolerant intolerant eater

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Tag: mac and cheese

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Easey’s, Collingwood

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on July 17, 2016August 18, 2016

I’ve been avoiding Easey’s like a fructose-intolerant person avoids garlic bread. Nothing good can come out of a burger place that serves mac and cheese, dim sims and potato cakes when you react adversely to the slightest whiff of onion and have my willpower i.e. none whatsoever.

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When you’re FODMAP and lactose-intolerant as well as lacking a somewhat vital organ such as a gallbladder, everything floats your bloat – tomatoes, eggplant, mature cheeses (so most good cheeses), wine, spinach, almond milk, every form of preserved meat (yes, that includes bacon), that little bit of ghee your mum slips into her dahl to make it taste all the better.

Bloat Scores

0 Living the dream

1 Had to loosen my belt a notch

2 The belt had to be completely removed

3 I could have balanced a glass of wine on my bloated stomach

4 If I were lying prostrate on my tummy, it would have looked as though I was levitating

5 So full of gas I floated home like a hot air balloon

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