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Whatever Floats Your Bloat

The most tolerant intolerant eater

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Tag: Italian

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Bontempo Pizzeria, Fitzroy

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on July 23, 2017July 23, 2017

Bontempo Pizzeria may appear to be just another sleek Italian restaurant frequented by a well-heeled crowd, but a closer perusal of its menu reveals astoundingly good-value pizza, pasta and alcoholic beverages.

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  • Restaurants

Queen Margaret Pizzeria, Fitzroy North

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on May 21, 2017

I’d heard about the legendary Margheritas at Queen Margaret long before I migrated up north, but it took me close to two years after moving to the neighbourhood before I contemplated eating here.

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  • Restaurants

Fratelli Fresh, Melbourne [permanently closed]

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on April 23, 2017October 14, 2018

“This menu is designed to be shared” is a phrase that strikes fear into the heart of every FODMAP-intolerant person out there.

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  • Restaurants

Tutto Bene, Southbank

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on April 16, 2017April 15, 2017

I equate Southbank to New York’s Times Square, sans the associated glitz and glamour and with the main attraction of a waterway of human sewage.

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  • Restaurants

SPQR Pizzeria, Melbourne

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on February 12, 2017February 12, 2017

I visited SPQR Pizzeria on a Monday and the desire to follow my intolerances was strong – it was too early in the week to incur my first intolerance breach

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About

 

When you’re FODMAP and lactose-intolerant as well as lacking a somewhat vital organ such as a gallbladder, everything floats your bloat – tomatoes, eggplant, mature cheeses (so most good cheeses), wine, spinach, almond milk, every form of preserved meat (yes, that includes bacon), that little bit of ghee your mum slips into her dahl to make it taste all the better.

Bloat Scores

0 Living the dream

1 Had to loosen my belt a notch

2 The belt had to be completely removed

3 I could have balanced a glass of wine on my bloated stomach

4 If I were lying prostrate on my tummy, it would have looked as though I was levitating

5 So full of gas I floated home like a hot air balloon

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