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Whatever Floats Your Bloat

The most tolerant intolerant eater

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Tag: Brunswick East

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Kumo Izakaya, Brunswick East

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on May 7, 2020May 7, 2020

Kumo Izakaya isn’t known for strictly Japanese food with a menu that has clear Italian, Korean and Turkish influences.

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  • Cafes

Wild Life Bakery, Brunswick East

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on August 25, 2019August 26, 2019

I found out about Wild Life Bakery the way plebs unaware of Melbourne’s latest advancements in sourdough found out about it – through this effusive Broadsheet review about its famed baguette with egg, creamed greens and onion jam.

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  • Restaurants

Xenia Food Store, Brunswick East

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on July 7, 2019July 7, 2019

Xenia Food Store is manned by the same people behind Philhellene in Moonee Ponds, a stalwart of Greek and Cretan dining.

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  • Restaurants

The Origin Tales, Brunswick East

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on May 12, 2019May 12, 2019

Knowing my love of mock meat, both Thirsty Vegan and Sand Pirate Penguin had told me about new vegan place Origin Tales in Brunswick East. I tried it twice and wasn’t disappointed.

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  • Cafes

The Pie Shop, Brunswick East

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on September 16, 2017September 16, 2017

One of my favourite things to eat that I can’t eat are pies, be they Four’N Twenty meat pies or apple pies of the McDonalds variety, hence why I jumped at the chance to try The Pie Shop, an offshoot of Matt Wilkinson’s Pope Joan.

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  • Restaurants

Teta Mona, Brunswick East

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on October 16, 2016

It would have been easy to follow my intolerances at Teta Mona, a cosy and contained Lebanese eatery on what wankers like me term the ‘good end’ of Lygon Street, but Teta Mona has a sharing menu and that put a spanner in the works.

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About

When you’re histamine- and lactose-intolerant as well as lacking a somewhat vital organ such as a gallbladder, everything floats your bloat – tomatoes, eggplant, mature cheeses (so most good cheeses), wine, spinach, almond milk, every form of preserved meat (yes, that includes bacon), that little bit of ghee your mum slips into her dahl to make it taste all the better.

Bloat Scores

0 Living the dream

1 Had to loosen my belt a notch

2 The belt had to be completely removed

3 I could have balanced a glass of wine on my bloated stomach

4 If I were lying prostrate on my tummy, it would have looked as though I was levitating

5 So full of gas I floated home like a hot air balloon

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