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Whatever Floats Your Bloat

The most tolerant intolerant eater

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Category: Cafes

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Higher Ground, Melbourne

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on July 25, 2016August 18, 2016

In the brunch capital of Melbourne, it’s unfathomable why you’d choose to visit the same café twice in a week, yet that’s exactly what I did after Higher Ground opened down the unfashionable end of Little Bourke Street.

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  • Cafes

SMÄK Food House, South Yarra [permanently closed]

  • by Sonia Nair
  • Posted on June 26, 2016October 14, 2018

Kale smoothies and chia seed puddings are so ’05 because there’s a new kid on the block – turmeric lattes.

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About

 

When you’re FODMAP and lactose-intolerant as well as lacking a somewhat vital organ such as a gallbladder, everything floats your bloat – tomatoes, eggplant, mature cheeses (so most good cheeses), wine, spinach, almond milk, every form of preserved meat (yes, that includes bacon), that little bit of ghee your mum slips into her dahl to make it taste all the better.

Bloat Scores

0 Living the dream

1 Had to loosen my belt a notch

2 The belt had to be completely removed

3 I could have balanced a glass of wine on my bloated stomach

4 If I were lying prostrate on my tummy, it would have looked as though I was levitating

5 So full of gas I floated home like a hot air balloon

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